Despite its negative connotation, fear isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, there are countless instances when our fearful gut instinct keeps us out of trouble, such as in life-or-death situations. Having said that, many of us face fear on a much different level on a more routine basis, and these 3 fears hold us back by tricking us into thinking we are comfortable and safe. When you learn to let go of them, you open new doors and possibilities.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). Many of us can’t stand the thought of missing out on activities, information, opportunities and the like. As a result, we struggle…to keep up, to catch up, to be included, to be noticed and to be loved…all in the name of FOMO, which usually means overcommitting and constantly checking emails, social feeds and the like. The solution for FOMO is being truly present, noticing everything and everyone around you—the big picture, the little pictures and all the tiny details that contribute to the moments that make up the here and now. It’s not easy. It takes practice, but it’s the only solution for FOMO.
Fear of Disappointing Others (FODO). This is the fear that makes us say ‘yes’ when we really want to (and should) say ‘no’. It’s the fear that keeps us quiet when we disagree, and it’s the fear that leaves us feeling depleted and resentful. People-pleasers are all too familiar with FODO. But the truth is that other people’s disappointment (or pleasure) has very little to do with you. The remedy for FODO is setting boundaries. People will always often push boundaries, but there’s always one person who can set and honor your boundaries: YOU. By doing that, you remind others that your boundaries matter, and you may inspire them to create their own.
Fear of Trusting Yourself. If you are unsure about trusting yourself, it will be almost impossible to remedy FOMO or FODO because staying present is hard and creating/enforcing your own boundaries will be very challenging. If you’re the type of person who looks outward for answers and often second guesses yourself, this may very well be a fear of yours. If you are running on auto-pilot, constantly reacting to life’s demands, you may have lost track of who you are and what’s important to you. The only way to trust yourself is to listen to your heart.
Let go of these fears so you can show all the way up for your life. These fears aren’t protecting you. They are dragging you down and holding you back. Letting go of these fears may take some time and practice, but it will be worth it.